Courtesy of Sodahead, where you can buy this tee and many others. |
Today, some blonde jokes shared by a Plainfield Today reader, who forwarded them from a classmate at Music & Art High School (class of 1950).
Some people's hidden pleasure is eating a quart of chocolate ice cream in one sitting, for others it's a giant bag of Doritos.
For me, it's something totally politically incorrect, blonde jokes.
Enjoy.
DISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.
FLORIDA OR MOON
Two
blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida
or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you
see Florida ?????'
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CAR
TROUBLE
TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER WALK
There's
this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the
other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The
redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A
highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing
that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper
cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The
Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A VACUUM
A
blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question
was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A
girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered
the blonde. 'They're watch dogs' THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
2 comments:
LMAO
It was good to have a laugh today Thanks Dan
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